A difficult conversation is difficult in any language. In a second language, the words can fail exactly when you need them most. Structure helps more than vocabulary.
Start with the purpose
Say why you asked to talk, in one sentence.
I would like to talk about the deadline, because I am worried we will miss it.
This prevents the conversation from drifting into blame.
Describe, do not judge
Separate what happened from what you think about it.
The report arrived on Friday. (Fact.) I felt we had no time to check it. (Feeling.)
Ask before you conclude
Give the other person room to explain.
Can you tell me what happened on your side?
Often the story is not what you assumed.
Propose, do not demand
Offer a path forward and invite a response.
Could we agree on a check-in on Wednesday?
Keep the door open
End with the relationship, not the problem.
I want this to work for both of us.
Words to remember
- deadline — the time something must be finished
- blame — saying someone is responsible for a problem
- assume — to believe something without proof
- propose — to suggest a plan
Questions & answers
Q: What if I lose the word I need?
Describe it with simpler words. "The thing we agreed" is acceptable in speech.
Q: Should I write things down first?
Yes. Three bullet points are enough to keep you calm and clear.
Q: What if the other person becomes angry?
Slow down and lower your voice. Say, "I want to understand your side."
Q: Is it better to send an email?
For facts, email is fine. For feelings, a conversation is better.
Q: What if nothing is resolved?
Agree on the next step, even if it is only another meeting. Progress can be small.